Got a train to catch soon to join the other TV Cream staffers (and half of blogdom) on our Christmas shebang in London. Ahead of discussing the canned laughter on All In Good Faith and whether Bertice Reading was being 'worked' underneath her Blankety Blank chair, I just have time for a few more random irritations that have got me lately:-
1: National presenters/hacks saying they are "up in Manchester" (or Leeds, Glasgow etc). You're not "up" anywhere, as you serve a country and your regular base, or your situation away from your work is of no relation or consequence to your port of call when on air. Your northern listeners are not "up" like you, but you are "down" in London or the Home Counties to them. Would you say that? Of course not. Stop it now, please.
2: Journalists being clichéd on soap operas. According to all continuous serials on our television sets, every journalist, even the one predominantly occupied with flower show results on the local weekly pamphlet, is a scheming, heartless, Machiavellian, instantly unlikeable scumbag who nobody whatsoever trusts or wishes to talk to. Whatever flaws I have in my personality, I found that even the bereaved or the aggrieved were polite and courteous when I had to doorstep them, and most would agree to a conversation, on the record or otherwise. The female hack asking about Liam Connor's death on Coronation Street was treated with utter contempt when she turned up for reaction - but if nobody's in court to report on Tony's eventual trial (I assume there will be one) then everyone would be very pissed off.
3: Dropping change from a card wallet. I don't use a money wallet, just one for credit cards and the like, so my loose change often gets stuck on the wallet sleeves. Out comes the wallet to retrieve a card and instantly there's a multiple pinging sound as a pile of five and twenty pences go flying across the floor. That's embarrassing and I'd like it to stop.
4: The voiceover for Come Dine With Me. You are sneery and unfunny and irritating and I want to turn the sound off.
5: Fans of other Premier League clubs still assuming the Hull City bubble will burst. Actually, you carry on feeling like that, as it just means we'll take points off you too.
Right, I can see the guard waving his flag. Have my favourite Christmas song until I get back...