3 February 2009

Corrie stuff

Coronation Street was ace last night, mainly thanks to Phil Taylor's passing cameo in the darts team.

I wonder if there is more pressure on the world's greatest darts player to hit the right spots on the board when he is filming a drama, given that the storyline demands numerous lipsticks and a bullseye to finish, than there is when he's goofing around on stage to Chase The Sun by Planet Funk and making Wayne Mardle look very ordinary? I suppose that if Taylor turns up and throws doozies due to the pressure, they can always do a spot of judicious editing.

Given that the straggly-haired Eddie Windass, the one who separates his fry-up on dinnerladies, showed a photograph of himself with Eric Bristow - Taylor's mentor - when he was running his darting scam, why did nobody recognise Taylor? And surely it's ungentlemanly conduct, if not against the actual rules, for a pub team to recruit the greatest player ever to hurl tungsten into their team?

The Windass family is ace. They're like the Battersbys when they first turned up - all mouth and low-level crime, thuggery and disruption. Eventually, of course, the public will tire of their unlikeability and, like the Battersbys, they'll settle down into jobs and relationships and become part of the furniture or, like the Mortons, they'll move on. And maybe I shouldn't say this, but I find the Windass mother very attractive.

Certainly more so than Janice Battersby, who just needs a small piece of circular metal on the edge of her lip and she'd look like Zippy.

The circle is closing in on Tony Gordon, at last, though it was a cock-eyed way of showing it as last night's double bill ended. Emily Bishop was only in the very last scene, telling Rita of Jed Stone's coronary just as the Gordons wandered past. It even made her last on the closing credits. Do actors have it written in their contracts that they'll do a specific number of scenes per year? This looked like someone had miscounted Eileen Derbyshire's quota and, in a spot of panic, rewrote Jed's heart attack scene so it happened offscreen, allowing someone else - Emily - to reveal the bad news and turn Carla's face to thunder.

Lastly, is Coronation Street only allowed one dog at a time? Eccles has suddenly re-appeared as a reason to give Ken Barlow excuse for lustful eye-contact with that barge woman (and if a darts team can't recognise Phil Taylor, then it's no wonder Ken can't recognise Sable Colby), but the re-appearance of the bequeathed small mutt has meant a reduction in appearances for the delightful Ossie the labrador, while we haven't seen Schmeichel the great dane for months and Monica the greyhound for years. Maybe they don't get on. Maybe Eccles has the best kennel facility and tummy-tickling routine in his contract and the others have all walked out in a huff.

2 comments:

Bright Ambassador said...

Yeah, Mrs Windass does have a wazzo pair of jugs.

I'm sorry I was at work last night if The Power was on it. No doubt it'll be on ITV2 half a dozen times over the next week.

And how does Ken Barlow do it? I'll have some of what he's having please!

Five-Centres said...

I hate to say it but I think Corrie's awful at the moment and has been for about six months. If I didn't have to watch in a professional capacity I wouldn't bother. That Tony/Maria thing has been dragging on for ages, I don't like the Windasses, bored of the Platts and the Websters, the whole Liz and Lloyd thing turns my stomach and Steve McDonald is no longer as great as he was. The whole Becky thing doesn't ring true and they've lost their way with Kym Marsh. She started out quite promising. It's all going to pot. The Barlows are the only saving grace.

And there's bugger all coming up, story wise.