24 March 2009

On the Street where they live

Time for some more random thoughts about the sacred cow that is Coronation Street...

1 - How come Joe is already behind with the kitchen installations? Three weeks ago he shook hands on the deal from within a desolate warehouse that only contained dust. Exactly how quick are we expected to believe his new employers are?

2 - Has that girl who plays Natasha the hairdresser been shown archive of Shelley Unwin and told: "That's who you need to become"? The character similarities are striking. And she is very good.

3 - How does that lad who plays young Simon manage to out-act everyone else he appears with?

4 - Where's Jack?

5 - Why can't I stop humming Consider Yourself every time Joe appears on screen?

6 - Why exactly has Uncle Umed turned up? Are they pining for Vikram's dad but couldn't get him? Same shtick - business advice in the shop, lusting after the elder women in the pub.

7 - How come Maria looks slightly less pregnant every time we see her?

8 - Where are all the cars kept? Ken, Maria and Ashley all have cars but they never drive them anywhere and yet, even though they have no garages, they're never on the street.

9 - Is Audrey's request for her money back from Bill going to turn into a rather crowbarred 'credit crunch' story?

10 - Would that Underworld client have so confidently said he was going to "see United stuff Villa" if he'd known the last two results?


Anonymous said...

#9 was my thought exactly

Anonymous said...

The actor playing Uncle Umed played pretty much the same 'confused by the British' Indian in the Buddha of Suburbia.

And don't forget that Villa got stuffed 5-0 by fucking Liverpool on Sunday.

Charles Nove said...

#8: It's well known that Coronation St has the world's most efficient Valet Parking system. A character has only to think about going for a drive and the correct car is brought to the kerbside in seconds. If only hotels would get the idea, life would be better.

#7 Maria is not pregnant. She is pregnan....hhhhhhhhhhh. Every phrase that girl utters is followed by a loud sigh. She sighs even more than the cast of The Archers, and that sounds like a chronic asthmatics' ward.

#3 Indeed! Simon is clearly from Page 1 of the "Cutest little boys in the world" catalogue, and he can out-act many of the adult cast, especially the APPALLING Kirk, who must be made of some sort of wood.

#6 Umed quite amusing, but they'd better get him something interesting to do pretty soon or the comedy turn is going to wear pretty thin.

Corrie? Nah, never watch it...