5 June 2012

"You're about as real as that plastic cigarette you puff!"

There was a phase during a series of the great Just Good Friends in which Vince, trying to stop smoking, used a plastic cigarette in an effort to wean himself off the real things.

On Saturday, a woman arrived at my club night and appeared to be clutching a tab between her fingers. Before I could establish anything for certain, she'd brought it to her lips and taken a draw - and the end of the 'cigarette' turned a flourescent blue. I've never seen one of these fake fags before. Are they a sophisticated stop-smoking device, like Vince Pinner's plastic smoke, or just the latest cosmetic accessory?

Smoking doesn't look cool any more, but this did. She was still putting it to her mouth four and a half hours later, so I assume they come with a rechargeable battery and you can specify a glow colour of your choice. If it's getting her off smoking the real things then good on her - and, unlike Vince, at no point did she drop it on the floor without thinking and stamp on it. I only hope that when she did go outside for a breath of fresh air, some idiot on the sniff didn't try to light it for her.

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