4 November 2007

"No, I won't play Ja Rule..."

I do an 80s night on Saturdays at a late-opening club. Six hours on my feet, always a capacity crowd, and invariably I will be asked some, more, fewer or all of these questions:-

"What have you got from the 80s then?"
"Can you just play one funky house song, please?"
"I'm the landlady's cousin and she'll fire you if you don't do this, so can you play Chesney Hawkes?"*
"When was Build Me Up Buttercup a hit?"
"Can you look after my coat?"
"Can you tell *some 18 year old lad* on the microphone that he's gay?"
"Can I have just have my coat back again?"
"Can you stay open an extra hour?"
"Can you look after my coat again?"
"Why do you do an 80s night?"
"Can I just have my coat back again?" (etc)
"Can I have a pint of lager please?"
"Can you ask that man to stop groping me please?"
"What happened to my coat?"
"Didn't Girls Aloud start in the 80s?"
"I missed Taylor Dayne a few minutes ago as I was having a piss, can you play it again?"
"Has a packet of condoms been handed in?"
"I'm trying to make a phone call, can you turn it down?"
"Can you give me a lift home?"
"Will you play Rihanna, as that samples an 80s song, doesn't it?"
"Can you play something good?"

That last question is the only one which really riles me. Aside from asking the questioner what they do for a living and then saying I'd go to their place of work and say they're crap as well, I've never worked out how to answer it.

* She's telling the truth about being the landlady's cousin, but lying about the claim that I'd be fired.